One Liners

I’d like to thank….

Poop

So it’s this time of the speech where I have to say the Thank-Yous…. first of all I’d like to thank Imodium for all of it’s efforts prior to this speech….

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Hand Job

Dishwasher

Getting married is like buying a dishwasher; you’ll never need to do it by hand again…..

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Bridal Threats

Groom

Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, you will pleased to know that my speech will last only a few minutes because of my throat…. If I go on too long the Bride has threatened to cut it.

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Marriage is not just a word

Best man giving his speech

Contrary to popular belief, marriage is not just a word, it’s a sentence….. a life sentence!

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Coke Joke

Best Man Speech Cocaine Joke

I’ve been very nervous about making my speech today, so I prepared a few lines. Having taken them, I feel a lot better.

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